We knew the baby was going to be born with a kidney problem and mentally we had prepared for that. But little Dominic arrived early with a compromised airway, significantly more issues than was planned for and a very big fight on his hands.
So what do you do when you are the mum of the mum, especially when you come from an upbringing where you don’t say “I love you” a thousand times a day?
I am one of those nauseating people that look for the good in everything. A big ask when you see your daughter’s eyes as wide a saucers and you know the outlook isn’t looking great.
So the one thing I did – and I would recommend it to anyone is to write letters. You know…. That old fashioned concept of communicating in paper. Every time Dominic went into surgery or when I wanted to bridge the gap between visits I would text a “letter” to Dominic and send it to his Daddy. He would text me back to tell me the letter had been read aloud to his son.
In my letter I would talk about how far he had come, what I had been doing, what his Grandpa had been doing, and how brave and strong his Mummy and Daddy were being. I never allowed myself to be anything other than optimistic words, sending words of encouragement and expressing my pride in the fight Dominic was making. I would also acknowledge how tough it was for Mummy and Daddy. It may seem silly to others that I write these letters but they helped me to express my recognition of the challenges Mummy and Daddy were having without continually expressing sorrow about the situation and they helped me to share the overwhelming love I have for this tiny mite and how hopeful I am for him and his future.